Client: allo !
Me: hello ?
Client: We want you to do an illustration for us
Me: ha alrigh, what do you want
Client: allo ?
Me: ya ?
Client: yeah we want a big black and white illustration but instead of the.
Me: sorry?
Client: sorry what ?
Me: you want a big black and white illustration but instead of the ..what?
Client: hum this is akward…
Me: I’m very sorry I’m having a hard time following you, my english isn’t perfect maybe we can start from scratch.
Client: I appear to have shat myself.
Mom: mcbess come for dinner !
Client: is that your mom I hear? can you do the drawing in exchange for sex with your mom?
Me: …
Client: WHAT!!! I HAVE TO PAY YOU YOU FUCKFACE !! I DON’T PAY FOR ILLUSTRATION CUNTFACE!! AND KUDOS FOR DRAWING LIKE A FRIGGING RETARD YOU LIQUID PIECE OF SHIT!!! (fart sounds)
Phone: tuuuu…tuuuu…tuuuu…tuuuu…
this never happened